A couple of missives ago I mentioned a collection of cards that I had given a friend years ago that came back to me. This is the first in another collection, called Wanderlust, featuring travel images from around the world that I gave to the same friend, and who gifted them back to me to use in the project. Thank you, again!
sent from: London, UK. destination: Austin, Texas, USA
Find us both fighting the same cold, we stayed home and rested. In the evening we updated our finances. I remember chatting with a friend, who told me he and his wife drew from the same pool of money, each having a small amount of discretionary income to indulge. Another friend made fun of him, for being in thrall to his wife. Under her thumb, he claimed. What did he (the other friend) do? He kept his finances separate – each could only draw from their own money. I didn’t fully grasp the complexities of each of their interactions at the time – separate, together, whatever worked for the couple in question. M and I used to keep track of what each of us had spent money on and pay the other back as appropriate to ensure that no one unfairly bore the burden of our living expenses. Since leaving the US, essentially since we got married, we pool our money and pay everything from there, ensuring equality. We keep track of our expenses to make sure that nothing goes awry, especially with accounts across the USA and UK. This in itself is a reflection of how we deal with many things – we share each other’s debts, responsibilities, and indulgences, and in the joy of splashing out on the luxuries too. I hope it continues to work as our life together progresses.
2 thoughts on “#211 – Two pennies for me, one penny for you”
Awesome card!! 🙂
This is such an interesting thing isn't it. In my previous relationships money was totally separate – just organised to share the rent (sometimes!) and costs of running the house. Otherwise.. it was very separate. Now I find myself in this amazing relationship and all that has changed. I supported us in India, and now that I am unable to work… Gagan supports us. Interestingly, I was totally comfortable with the former, but still haven't come to grips with the latter. Gagan thinks I'm silly to worry about it and is constantly reassuring me.. but I suppose that feeling is wrapped up in the loss of career and the financial independence and identity that came with that. I'm getting better though… I've done a bit of damage on BookDepository.com regardless of the feelings of guilt 😉
Thanks for the insight and stories. It's amazing how money is such a squirrely thing in our psyches.