sent from: London, UK. destination: Austin, Texas, USA

Find us both fighting the same cold, we stayed home and rested. In the evening we updated our finances. I remember chatting with a friend, who told me he and his wife drew from the same pool of money, each having a small amount of discretionary income to indulge. Another friend made fun of him, for being in thrall to his wife. Under her thumb, he claimed. What did he (the other friend) do? He kept his finances separate – each could only draw from their own money. I didn’t fully grasp the complexities of each of their interactions at the time – separate, together, whatever worked for the couple in question. M and I used to keep track of what each of us had spent money on and pay the other back as appropriate to ensure that no one unfairly bore the burden of our living expenses. Since leaving the US, essentially since we got married, we pool our money and pay everything from there, ensuring equality. We keep track of our expenses to make sure that nothing goes awry, especially with accounts across the USA and UK. This in itself is a reflection of how we deal with many things – we share each other’s debts, responsibilities, and indulgences, and in the joy of splashing out on the luxuries too. I hope it continues to work as our life together progresses.