sent from: London, UK. destination: San Francisco, California, USA

Dear Brian and Christina,
Thank you for the invitation! We’d love to come to the wedding, but then what would we do with the donkey. Oh, and the baby. You know, THE baby. The one everyone’s been waiting for, apparently. Let me back up; it was less than 2 weeks ago that I was trying to get some sleep in the stable, but then M was like, “I think it’s happening” and before you know it there’s shepherds and animals and I’m like, “does any one of you know who the father is?” But they’re all playing dumb. Anyway, so we had that to deal with and I just got the animals out and everyone out of M’s way when these three dudes in robes show up and say “hey, surprise! It’s the twelfth day of something that hasn’t been invented yet.” They’ve got gifts for the kid and they smell and make the baby crinkle his nose, but then they’re all like hey can our camels chill in the stable with y’all? and I can’t really say no but I think one of them is farting and smelling up the whole place. Anyways yeah I think we’re going to be a little busy but hey mind if I send you something they gave us? I know it’s a re-gift but it’s nice. Says “MYRRH” on the box… damned if I know what that is!
Best, J